The gun ban
By Al S. Mendoza
P-NOY loves guns.
I have no beef with that.
Everyone’s entitled to own his favorite toy. And, obviously, the gun is P-Noy’s favorite toy.
Guns make P-Noy happy as columns, both the good and the bad varieties manufactured anywhere in the world, also make me happy each time I read them.
Next to a stick of ciggie, maybe, the barrel of a gun is what gives P-Noy the extra thrill.
Which is quite ironic because, in one coup d’ tat that tried to topple the administration of P-Noy’s mother, Tita Cory, in the ‘80’s, P-Noy nearly died.
In fact, in one massive assault by the mutineers, a soldier died shielding P-Noy from imminent death.
A shrapnel remains embedded in P-Noy’s anatomy—a grim reminder of the terror that gripped Tita Cory’s reign from 1986 to 1992; that is now a classic six-year ride through a storm wracked by at least nine, military-led rebellions and backed by ambitious putchists/remnants from the unlamented Marcos dictatorship.
Why, despite having gone through an ordeal that almost snuffed out his fragile life, P-Noy would proceed to fall in love with the gun is a puzzle that boggles like the murderous muzzle of a gun.
Which is why I am a bit stunned on why P-Noy, in another uncharacteristic style of his leadership, took pains to save his gun from being grounded amid the call by the Comelec for a gun ban in view of the May elections.
No, I found it weirdly funny, why P-Noy should worry at all about his gun when Comelec ruled “no one is exempted from the gun ban rule.”
You are the President and you take orders from your subalterns?
That’s like seeing Talk ‘N Text coach Norman Black suddenly receiving orders from the team water boy that they swap places.
You are the Boss and you take orders from your secretary?
You are the Commander-In-Chief of the entire Armed Forces of the Philippines and you take orders from not even a member of the military?
Isn’t Sixto Brilliantes the Comelec head and not even a platoon leader, and he orders P-Noy to heed the gun ban?
What is this, a parody or something?
Brillantes should consider himself lucky that P-Noy didn’t fire him!
Or, that P-Noy didn’t fire at him?
But to add to the comedy of errors, P-Noy immediately filed for exemption from the gun ban the minute Brillantes issued the directive.
Good grief! Only in the Philippines, indeed.
Imagine this: Did Obama ask Hilary Clinton’s approval to order the killing of Osama Bin Laden?
Glad that Brillantes made amends by immediately saying, “Of course, the President is exempted from the gun ban.”
If you find that funny, go shoot yourself.
To save you from prosecution in case you survive, borrow P-Noy’s gun.
Surely, the exemption thing might help.