Those 'kwentong kutcheros'
Posted on August 26, 2006 - Filed Under Punch Forum |
Edener Benitez Fabella
26 August 2006
Oh my gash who’s dunnnnit? Not us Petron says. All we did was have our oil shipped. Manigas na kayong lahat we will not pay a cent for damages. Not us either says Capitan of tanker Solar 1. Ano kami sira? Gugustuhin ba naming mabisto we sailed on expired mariner’s license and banned single hull tanker dehins noh? Screw you! bakit pati ako na nananahimik dito sa palasyo enjoying my bottle of cognac sisisihin n’yo? Bahala kayo sa buhay n’yo. If there is anyone to blame, it is the Guimaras folks who rely too much on fishing and tourism for livelihood. It’s time to switch to Beerhouses and KTV’s for crying out loud. What about the Philippine Coast Guard? Not us that’s for sure. All we have aboard our crafts are walis tambo and walis tingting anong kasalanan namin dyan? E sino ang me kasalanan sa oil spill na ito? Sino pa kungdi ang NPA, Abu Sayyaf at si Erap. Mahilig kasi sila sa kwitis at labentador. Ayun pati bapor naputukan kaya lumubog sayang malaki-laki pa naman ang lagay!!!!If there is one thing besides Filipinos standing tall with their dignity intact despite rumbling empty stomachs is our ability to have fun by way of kwentong kutcheros. Have you heard of this one? One day by accident, someone recognized Ninoy Aquino in a busy thoroughfare downtown. The kargador asked; “Sir, mabuti naman at kahit papano naisipan mong bumalik dito sa Pinas but why the brown bag over your head Sir? Alam mo kasi Gorio, medyo mas takot ako ngayon keysa noon umalis ako tungong Amerika. Bakit nga kasi, Sir? Noon umalis ako, isang magnanakaw lang ang naghahari-harian dito sa atin pero ngayon, dito pa lang sa airport nadukutan na ako e ano pa kaya kung mapadako ako sa direksion tungong Malacanang?”
Soon our hero the favored major general in the AFP expert in making people disappear will retire. I suggest with his business acumen, he will do well in the service of his country if he is appointed secretary of finance! Imagine, in one fell swoop, everyone has cedulas in Bulacan, Tarlac, Pampanga and some parts of Ilocos? We know that even dead folks get to vote in our election but this feat tops it all. Even youngsters now are in love with their cedulas kaya tuloy pati itong Dagupan city dads natin gustong pagkakitaan ang poste nang kuriente? Any more brilliant ideas? Here’s one; why not initiate a ‘toilet flush’ meter? Just when some of our kababayans are getting used to knowing what that bowl is for, with every ‘flush- kaltas’ policy, it will surely bring them back to the bushes!
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